My friend told me that her child asks her for more sandwiches and money every day, but he comes home as if he hadn’t eaten anything all day, he became pale in color, doesn’t like school, cries a lot for the slightest reason, and it gets worse day after day… I sat down with the child, I found him to be a calm, gentle child, we talked about many things, and finally he told me the truth of the matter, he told me about that child two years older than him at school who is exposed to him daily and threatens him and a number of his classmates with beatings, he tries to escape from him and spends his free time alone in the classroom, but despite that, he searches for him until he finds him, insults and beats him and takes his daily allowance and food, the child was crying while telling me about that little bully who plays the bully in school, what can he do in such a situation? Sometimes our children may be subjected to abuse and harm from bullies who play the role of a bully in the club or school, and the situation worsens if the abused child is physically weak or unable to protect himself and repel the harm to which he is exposed, which makes going to school a nightmare for the child, which leaves negative effects on his psyche and of course reflects on his behavior and academic achievement, and in the worst case, the child may also be physically harmed as a result of the abuse and harassment he is subjected to. If your child is suffering from the same issue, here are some tips to help them overcome this difficult experience. First – You have to take your child’s issue seriously, it’s not something to be mocked, ridiculed or ignored, your child is in real trouble and you have to look for the best possible solutions, listen to him calmly and with love, this will definitely make him feel safe and that you are by his side no matter what happens, children usually feel embarrassed when talking to their parents about such issues, so don’t make him regret it. Second – You have to ask yourself “Why is this happening to your child?” Is it because he gives the impression that he is an easy victim? Is he physically or psychologically weak? Is he not popular at school or has friends who cooperate with him and defend him? Does he suffer from low self-esteem? The answer to these questions is the first clue to solve the issue, as finding the real reason will enable us to deal with it directly. Third – Go with your child to school, let the bullies see you next to him and know that you are a real source of support for him, ask for help from one of the school officials (school principal, or a teacher) to become a source of support for your child inside the school, often they will be able to monitor the situation and take the necessary measures to prevent further issues, and in the worst cases you may have to communicate with the parents of the bullied child to discuss the matter and find appropriate solutions. Fourth – You must start teaching your child how to deal with these harassments psychologically and physically, he definitely lacks the necessary skills as long as he has fallen into this issue, he must learn how to defend himself, teach your child how to respond to verbal harassment and control his fear and anxiety, and it is necessary for him to enroll in training in one of the self-defense sports that will give him more confidence and strength. Fifth – warn your child not to get involved in a violent fight with a bully, as it may develop into a real disaster, and one of them may get physically hurt, making the matter more complicated, just teach him to defend himself and then hurry away from the group that is starting the fight. Sixth – Help your child to make friends, he should not stay alone, but he must integrate into a peer group that provides him with the required support and safety, which will make him feel more confident, and will give the impression to others that he is no longer an easy prey because he is not alone as he used to be. Seventh – At an advanced stage you have to teach your child to control his emotions when he is harassed by others, his feeling of confusion, anger, or reacting by crying and red face will make the child bully feel more powerful, and repeat it again and again, but instead your child should learn how to become calm in the face of these situations, take a deep breath, speak in a calm tone of voice, act bravely or walk away steadily, all this will make the aggressor feel confused and that your child is no longer afraid of him. Eighth – Help your child to talk about his issues from time to time on a regular basis, this will help him discharge his negative emotions, restore his self-confidence, don’t leave him alone, make joint activities and fun conversations, all this will renew his mental and physical energy and make him able to face more challenges. There’s more… With my love.

Selma

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